Finding Me

I have prayed for so long begging God to help me be happy, help me be me again. Yet, nothing. The depression just took over my world and in turn my families world. Until, I myself made a choice to choose joy. To choose to be me, not just mom me, or wife me, but just me. After 3 c-sections (05,09,10) and getting my tubes tied I lost myself. Not just mentally but physically I just kept putting on weight. I blamed everything and everybody including God, for my misery and my massive weight gain until one day a light bulb came on in my head. It was like everything was clear now and I started seeing things in a different light. The me I had become was no ones fault but mine. I pushed everyone away, I chose a poor diet, I chose not to be active, I chose to make excuses, I chose not to get out of bed & let the depression take over, I chose not to be there for my kids & husband in the way they needed, I CHOSE ME {the me I had become}.

Now, I am choosing to be a new me. A Cross Fit at least 3 times a week me, a get my butt outta bed even when I think I have nothing to give that day me, a loving, creative, passionate me, a good mom me, a good wife me, a good friend me & most important a Godly me.

Everything in life that's worth while you have to fight for. Your fight to be a good mom is never over or the fight to be fit, even if you hit your goal it's not over. So today I choose to fight. Today I choose joy. Today I choose to be who God made me to be.